The world needs an objective person to devise a good movie rating system. I am that person and this is your system. Anybody with the intelligence God gave a salamander and the income that God gave a McDonald’s employee has Netflix account. Since the cost of a movie on Netflix is effectively only a time investment I see a continuum of movie quality from a $10 theater ticket to a cost-free 1.5 hour commitment on the most boring of days. Given this sliding scale, here is how movies should be rated.
Gogglepow!
I love Google. Google has ushered in a new era for the internet. The time has long past since we’ve been unable to find relevant content for our burning questions. But now, thanks to Google, I can find copious amounts of absolute bullshit in a matter of milliseconds. And, best yet, with the Google picture search, I can uncover some of the strangest and least expected sights that one could have expected. Let me show you what I mean.
Fred The Mouse
Early into my new home there were signs of another resident. When I replaced the dishwasher I found the heaping, steaming piles of shit that could only have been left by a two-ounce mammal. Of course they weren’t heaping or steaming, but you take my point. I was totally willing to live in North Korea/South Korea standoff of mutually assured destruction as long as the mouse, who we’ll call Fred, would mind his own space. And then he ate some of my pasta. It’s on now.
Christmas Travel Fun
Going back several months now, my plan for this last Christmas was for Krisztina and I to fly to Cincinnati to see my family. The tickets were quite expensive ($550 per seat!) but, hey, it’s Christmas, so I can’t exactly cheap out. Pushed back one day, my expected 8 hours of travel ended up taking 16 and landing me right back in the city I had departed that morning. And all the while I got to enjoy the relaxing, spacious accommodations that define coach seating.
Journal Ramblings
Since I now have a weblog I’m going to use this service for various ruminations. At this Red Hot Moment, I’m obsessing over my new pet, the mouse. The mouse has taken over closet #2 in hopes of securing a lifetime of uncooked pasta and rice. As much as I love and want to protect God’s smallest and cutest creatures, this fuzzy fucker has got to die. Check other topics as I’ll document the battle.