My new friend Eddie Murphy and I just spent the last four hours cruising the streets of Nha Trang looking for trouble. Eddie Murphy is one adventurous son of a bitch. I only hope that in this entry I can capture a fraction of the strange world he showed me.
I stepped into the sweaty streets of this resort town looking for a ride to the cable car that takes tourists to the Russian-owned theme park called Vinpearl. With all the class of 1960s Hollywood, Vinpearl has chosen to erect a porcelain-while homage to itself in the form of a multi-meter “Vinpearl” sign on the hill of that private island that faces the city. Those fucking Russians are classy, all right.
Looking for a ride to the cable car, I jumped on the back of the motorcycle and became fast friends with its driver, Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy got me there where I learned that it would cost $25 just to visit these Spanish chicks on their Russky island. Screw that! I wasn’t even sure if they’d be there! Its a safer bet to spend the day with Eddie Murphy.
Eddie Murphy and I cruised to the white Buddha (despite my sworn promise not to see one more Buddha statue on this trip), went to a locals-only party on an ancient tower, and drank beer at a pool hall with no balang (foreigners) but myself. Eddie Murphy and I caught a decent buzz before jumping on his Easy Rider bike for the hills.
At his local restaurant of choice, we ate man-eating clams (no joke; these clams dismember dozens of fishermen a year), chicken feet, garlic-infused beef tongue, and multiple liters of bia hoi for a a literally intoxicating price of $0.50 per liter. A dozen plates of the strangest, toughest, spiciest foods were laid upon our table as we ate our way through the flora and fauna of this strange world. Inebriation and swollen bellies for all. Total bill: $8.
Eddie Murphy is a fun-loving Vietnamese man with two children. His name is derived from his (very) vague resemblance to the movie star. And his values are crystalized by 30 years of life in a war-torn, corruption-ridden, yet optimistic frontier. He told me of the police bribery, desperate poverty, unescapable ignorance, and incoquerable optimism of his sun-drenched beaches.
As Eddie Murphy and I sat around this tiny plastic dinner table and shared stories of our lands, I high-fived our table neighbors and gave smiles and bites of food to anyone that would stop. We bonded over our cheap beer and discussed plans for real estate investments and immigration scams that will make him rich and me the most popular balang in Vietnam. And I accepted his offer to spend the day with his wife and two daughters eating river-caught crustaceans in his small village in the hills.
This is the true joy of traveling alone. Strange people and reckless adventure. Never say ‘no’ to an offer to put an unknown piece of food in your mouth. Always accept with wide-eyed enthusiasm an invitation to eat dinner in the dirt-floored village of a random person. Don’t worry about the terrors that a strange unrinsed vegetable can reap on your bowels. Eat, drink and laugh your way through the weird and scary unknown.
But I am starting another regimen of Cipro tonight.