Pre-planning (Or: Logistics)

I woke up this morning with my usual routine: brush my teeth, take a shower, a good ass scratch or two, on with the nice shirt and off to work. Along the way I realize something. Holy shit I own a round-trip ticket to a third-world nation full of mosquitos and malaria and hepatitis and penis fish and velociraptors and kinds of crap! And my plane leaves in 14 days. I’ve got a lot of work to do.

Step 1: Deal with visas. This is arguably the one thing that will put the kibosh on this whole plan. I show up up in Saigon, strut on over to customs, and have my pale butt sent packing to Bali or something. Not that this is necessarily a problem. But it is kind of a misfire for a four-week vacation.

So, at the recommendation of a friend, I went to a SF-based visa management company this afternoon. The idea was to get visas for all four countries I might visit (Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam.) As it turns out Thailand doesn’t require visas for US citizens. One down. Everything else was a pain.

I’m going to fast-foward to the end of that meeting because the administrative minutia is boring. But to tell an interesting end with no build-up, I’ll say that I’m paying $600 for the necessary visas. This is not so much because the target countries require it, but because my passport has to be held by the consulates of each country I’m going to visit. That means my passport will be next-day aired to Washington, D.C. for the Laos visa and then sent back to SF. Then back to DC for the Cambodia visa then back to SF. Then over to the Vietnamese consulate and back to the visa office before one more delivery to me. All of this in 13 calendar days.

(Those of you that are astute observers and ponderous researchers may now choose to debate the visa requirements for Cambodia and Laos. While technically you may be right that my pre-work is not needed, you’re a huge dumbass. A hundred dollars here to avoid a repeat of my all-night Turkey/Bulgaria bording crossing is money well-spent, in my opinion.)

Anyway, more planning to come:

Step 2: Shots galore! I’ve yet to get the hypodermic shmorseborg of whatever drugs keeps the SE Asian version of the penis fish a respectable distance from said orifice.

Step 3: Tanning. Yeah, so you’re ancestors weren’t raised on a sunless, pasty, potato-infested island? Mine were. I need to get some artificial sun before I ruin myself with the real one.

Step 4: Backpacks. Ever since those gypsy bastards stole my daypack in the Czech republic I’ve needed a good replacement. I’m on the hunt.

Step 5: Point-and-shoot digital camera. Some junky in SF broke out my rear window and helped his self to my previous Canon Digital Elph. I need to replace that sucker before I leave.

Step 6: Get my questionable BlackBerry curve replaced with a new unit. Also check that the wireless service will work where I’m going.

If I’m missing a step, please speak up now before its too late.