European Hate

With all the hippie-based, sanitized, everyone-gets-the-reacharound kind of lovefest that has been dominating American culture for the last few decades people never get to talk about the cultures they hate. Europeans demonstrate none of the same reluctance. As such, I’ve picked up some real pearls as they fell from the mouths of my hosts and comrades. So, in this short note I’m going to talk about good old fasioned hate. European-style.

First, the Turks hate the Arabs. They feel that the Arabs are fucking up their good name as Muslims. And that good name is exactly what makes the Germans and the French hate the Turks. As it seems that the Turks exemplify the lesser parts of the society that tends to include the reduced rights of their women.

The Serbs and the Croats hate each other, and are always willing to throw a rock at the other at a soccer match to get that blood feud stirring again. But, if worse came to worse, they’d both like to be pelting the Albanians with some some grapefruit-sized stones.

The Hungarians don’t like the Serbs, as they consider them indolent and stupid. The Slovenians have been trying to live by themselves for a decade now, so they actually only hate the people that bug them. Whereas the Czechs hate everyone. Stuck in the middle of a continent that simply cannot stop warring, they want to build a moat around their country and live in peace.

As I said above, the Germans don’t like the Turks, but they continue this ancient dislike of the French. But they have a good sense of humor about it. As one of them told me in Berlin, “Hey, we almost won that war!” The French are too snooty to really talk about who they dislike, as they consider themselves the better when compared to anyone. But they sure as hell don’t trust the Germans. They praise the shit out of the EU for keeping guns out of their neighbors’ industrious hands.

The Brits don’t even consider themselves part of this continent, both culturally and geographically. But this seems to be changing lately. And many of these feelings do shift like the dunes of the windy Sahara. But there is one thing that will not change. The only absolute that one can guarantee is the following: it doesn’t matter where you are in this continent, who you’re talking to, or what year it happens to be: everyone hates the gypsies.