My residential complex has got more cats than Siegfried and Roy’s house. For some reason all of these cats’ respective owners decided to flee the Bay in early July and leave their precious pets in the hands of their more sedentary neighbors. But with only a couple generous souls behind for cat doodie duty, the weight of many cats’ lives was placed upon my shoulders. (And at nine lives per cat, that adds up.) It was with this frenzy of vacationing that my first big summer event began: CatWatch ’05!
The cat that I’m now watching is one of those cats that makes dog people hate cats. I’ve been over to its home three times and I haven’t seen the cat once. Food is disappearing and turds are appearing so I know that there is some sort of tuna-eating, shit-producing organic machine in the house. But, I can’t rule out that the mystery animal is actually a small dog or a big rat.
Now that I think about it, I think that it actually might be something other than a cat. Granted, my experience managing cat feces is limited, at best. However, when I saw the size of the log that this cat left behind I started wondering if it isn’t actually a big cat but instead a small human. That log was as big as anything I’ve ever seen in my toilet. And another thing, cats don’t eat corn! You know what I mean?
OK, I was joking about that last bit. But here’s my idea: I’m going to make up a shirt to commemorate this orgy of cat-sitting. My proposed design is simple, elegant, and to the point. First, the front:
And the back:
What do you think?
I love the t-shirt! You outdid yourself. Cats are very elusive, aren’t they? And the poop comes in all sizes. Our doggy girl loves cat poop. We have to barracade the litter box because if Krissy (our miniature dachshund) can get some to eat, she smacks her lips in delight!! A few years ago, we kept wondering why there was never any poop in the litter box. The cat seemed to be peeing regularly, but no poop in sight! The vet said he didn’t see any kind of problem with her equipment, so we placed a video camera by the litter box, and voila!! There was Krissy sticking her head inside and grabbing a poop morsel as her midnight snack. IT WAS SO GROSS!! Unfortunately for her, she is now having to survive on her own dog food.
Chip,
This is funny! Is this a real shirt or did you do this with photoshop? You ought to have a real shirt made or you could do it yourself if you would invest in a printer and some t-shirt transfers!
It’s not long at all until you’re off on your travel adventure!
Dad
No, it’s not a real t-shirt. It’s just a righteous example of my awesome Photoshop skills. 🙂